Ice Blue Cold - Opposite

How many times we would like to say or do the opposite:

You miss him so much, You want to stay with him,

But you put on mask and pretend you don’t 

You want to see him and hear his voice

But you ask him not to come and not to write and not to call

You are afraid to lose him, but you tell him you just want to be friend

Every fiber of you is missing him, but you can only cry silently

You just don’t want him to see how much you are in love with him

You just don’t want to admit yours is deeper

All the opposite things you do because you know you are hopeless

All your defense systems are active for being ice blue cold

You feel safe as being cool and cold